Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
