There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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