I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
a search helicopter?!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
