Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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