too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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