Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
