I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
