Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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