If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
