Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
