oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
