wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize