He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
