we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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