I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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