Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
