I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
