Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
