...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
