its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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