Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't turn off my feet"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
