I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
