I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
