he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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