ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
