We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize