If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
