Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
