In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
