from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
