Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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