Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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