covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
