i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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