It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
