Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
