babies were throwing up all over the place
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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