We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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