i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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