Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
