another moral hangover. fuck.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
