I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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