Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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