So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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