I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
