White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
