I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize