we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think people are normalizing furries
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
