i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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