one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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