1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
