Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
