real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
