Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
