Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
