Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Randomize
