i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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