Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
