How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
