The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Randomize
