no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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