we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Its about making memories worth repressing
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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