I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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