I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
